Restless Night
by InsaneMelon
Summary: -Two-Shot / Tag for my story 'Ship of Fools', you should read that one first- SUMMARY: John and Rodney contemplate the sleeping habits of the other and their new relationship. Slash, McShep
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own anything

Warnings: This is Slash, McShep to be exact, so turn around if that's not your thing.

A/N: Sorry but this is NOT the promised sequel!!! **This is a ****tag for Ship of Fools**! Or maybe a bridge between SoF and the still unnamed sequel!? Anyway, this story plays circa 2 weeks after the events of SoF! Hope you'll enjoy and leave some reviews!^^

Not betaed, so mistakes are fair game!

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**Restless Night**

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_Part One:_

_~~~Rodney McKay~~~_

There are some nights when I just can't fall asleep, no matter how exhausted I am.

In the majority of cases I can blame my big brain for that. It's one of the disadvantages of being a genius. Your mind won't calm down, no matter what you do. It works against you and throws problems and questions at you and demands solutions and answers. My mind is fully active during such nights while my body is barely able to hold it together.

It's the main reason why I only sleep three to four hours a night. Everyone assumes that I don't need more but the ugly truth is, I _can't_ sleep much longer. My brain won't let me and my body has resigned a couple of years ago.

I got used to it so it never really bothered me. Two weeks ago I would have paced the room or worked on my laptop on a new project to keep my mind occupied, but I can't do that now. Well, I could obviously, since these are still_ my_ quarters, but I shouldn't. Not if I don't want to wake the man besides me.

I look to my right and there he is; Colonel John Sheppard, my friend, teammate and since a couple of weeks also my lover. I blush fiercely and grin from ear to ear at the thought. I am just grateful that John is sound asleep right now and can't see me. That would be so embarrassing!

He is lying on his side, facing me. I can feel his body heat since the bed is only made for one person and we have to, literally, huggle together. John has fallen out of bed a few times and blamed me and my restless sleep but I think he's just clumsy.

I watch him for a few minutes and I am once again amazed how utterly still he is when he sleeps. He doesn't snore _(Thank God!)_ and once he finds a position that he's comfortable with, he stays like that the whole night. John only moves when he's awake, otherwise he is totally motionless.

The first time I had one of my sleepless nights and watched him I nearly freaked out and called Carson. I hadn't been able to see him breath in the dim light and had shaken him frantically until he had finally woken up, grumpy and pissed. John had laughed at me the next morning and I had punched him for scaring me like that, although it hadn't been his fault at all.

John doesn't always sleep here, but more often than not. I guess it's because of my nightmares. I don't have them often, maybe once or twice a week, but when I have them, they are rather vivid. Probably because they are memories, rather than actual nightmares.

Jackson is gone and I know that, but he's still invading my dreams from time to time. It got better over the last two weeks but I'm rather embarrassed that I can't seem to forget this little unpleasant incident. It's not like he actually raped me right? But I always think that he _wanted_ to and that he only couldn't do it because John interrupted him. Sometimes, in my dreams, John doesn't find us. He just doesn't come although I scream his name over and over. Those are the worst and I always wake up covered in sweat and breathing like I've just run a marathon.

John is always wide awake when I jolt up, ready to put his arms around me and to whisper reassuring words. I wonder if I'm trashing and screaming in my sleep or whether he just somehow knows when it's time to wake up to comfort the shaking scientist.

Heightmeyer says that those nightmare will disappear over time when I talk about them, but I think that John's presence is better than any session that the doctor and me could have.

After a nightmare I tend to cling to John like I'm afraid that he will disappear if I let go. He never makes fun of me or tells me to get over it, but holds me and kisses me until I fall asleep again.

It's never more than kisses and touches though.

Sex hadn't been a topic yet. I don't know why, but I think that John is waiting for me to make the first move, that he doesn't want to force me into something before I'm ready.

It's comforting but also really frustrating. Sometimes I wish that John would just throw me on the bed one day and _demand_ sex. I would give it to him. I wouldn't push him away or clam up because I'm too traumatized over the incident with Jackson. God, I wanted John ever since I met him, and that hasn't changed one bit.

But I just can't seem to bring myself to make the first move. It was always one of my weaknesses, even as a little kid.

I remember how I once almost drowned in our pool. I must have been ten years old and I couldn't even go near that damn thing the rest of the summer. I really wanted to swim with Jeannie, especially when I saw how much fun she had, but I just never could bring myself to step into the water on my own. One day, Jeannie had sneaked up to me when I was longingly staring into the water and just shoved me into the damn thing. I had bitched and screamed and not spoken with her for the next couple of days. Secretly though, I had been really grateful. It was all that I had needed, a little shove.

I wish that John would push me a little bit but he's too understanding for that. He won't risk it and it's understanding. After all, it would be his first time too. With a man, that is.

I guess I'll have to work this out myself. I'm actually okay with the slow pace we're taking right now, we have to be careful after all, but sometimes I'm not sure if John is okay with it as well...

John shifts beside me and although I know that it means that he's awake, his voice startles me when he asks: "Rodney? Is everything alright?"

I turn my head and see that John is awake and staring at me. I just hope that I didn't wake him.

"Yeah. Just can't sleep, that's all."

He looks at me for a long moment and I begin to blush under the intense stare until he lifts an arm in invitation and beckons me over. "C'mere."

I fight a surge of envy while I scoot over into his arms. John is acting so damn relaxed and natural about our relationship that you would think that _he's_ the one who has been bi since his teenage years and not me. I'm still not able to kiss him without acting all flustered and jittery.

He maneuvers me until I'm lying half on top of him, with my head resting on his shoulder. I don't know why he likes that position so much. I must be really heavy and it has to be uncomfortable for him, but he never complains about it.

His hand begins to run circles on my back and I close my eyes and listen to John's breathing.

"Better?"

I merely hum in reply, already on the brink of sleep.

"Good."

John sounds sleepy but happy. He always does when we are lying together like this and in those moments all my qualms are disappearing and I just enjoy the feeling of his skin under my hand.

He takes my hand and kisses it lightly before we intertwine our fingers.

I know that we will wake up like this in the morning, because John never moves when he sleeps and because he won't let go of my hand until he's awake. The thought is accompanied by a wide yawn.

And that's when I'm finally able to fall asleep.

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**_"Part Two: John Sheppard" is coming soon!_**

_Tell me what you think. :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer:** Still nothing mine_

_**A/N:** Sorry for the long delay and thanks for your reviews and alerts! I edited the first chapter a bit, mostly typos though! Here's the last part. Enjoy!_

Unbetaed, so mistakes are fair game!

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**Restless Night**

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Part Two:

~~~John Sheppard~~~

There are some nights when I just can't fall asleep, no matter what I do.

Those nights are mostly the consequences of calm and peaceful days. Or in other words, days without a mission. When we're not off-world, fighting aliens or the resident fauna, I'm stuck with paperwork. Which I hate with a passion. Such days usually leave me with a sense of ineffectiveness and an huge amount of spare energie.

During such days, my sparring sessions with Teyla and Ronon tend to be a little bit longer and harder than usually. I can only guess that the two of them are as frustrated with such days as I am.

The sparring sessions help, but they are not nearly enough. My mind is fuzzy with weariness, while my body just can't seem to shut down. Literally.

I never really noticed before, but Rodney told me one day that I twist and turn when I'm not sleeping. That's why, although I'm wide awake right now, I try to lie as still as possible and to keep my breathing low and even.

I'm not the only one who has some odd sleeping habits in this room. When Rodney is asleep, he is always in motion. One second he is lying on his stomach and the next he is abruptly sprawled out on his back. And before you know it, he is suddenly lying on his side, stealing your blanket because it's tangled up between his legs, and kicking you out of bed.

It's actually kinda frustrating to sleep besides Rodney but there are also little things that make it absolutely worth it. For example when he practically drags you on top of him because he mistakes you for the blanket or when he begins to murmur in his sleep. Things like_ "No Radek that's my device. I found it first."_ or just a wistful _"Hmm....coffee"._

I will never ever tell him that, because Rodney would eat me alive if I did, but I think that he can be extremely adorable when he's like this.

But he is not like this right now.

He is neither moving nor talking about coffee, and that's how I know that he's not sleeping anymore. Rodney is only ever still in bed when he is awake and doesn't want to wake me.

I don't want Rodney to know that I'm already awake too and that I know that he is watching me. He would blush and stutter and end up insulting me and my intelligence to distract me from his embarrassment, and although that can be quite amusing, I don't want to upset him. He is never able to fall asleep after one of his rants.

I listen closely and I am relieved to discover that his breathing is normal and considerably calm. I guess it's safe to assume that he is not awake because he had a nightmare.

I'm grateful for the nights when Rodney can sleep without being reminded of that man, because, in those nights, I'm not reminded of him either.

I always lie awake when I've managed to lull Rodney back to sleep and remember how I found the two of them and the short hour where I hadn't known what Jackson had exactly done to Rodney. The worst and longest hour in my whole life. I hadn't been able to think about anything else than what this could mean for Rodney and also, a little bit selfishly I admit, what this could mean for me. Whether Rodney would be able to accept my feelings after something like this. I had been barely able to debrief Elizabeth after we left the infirmary. It had been impossible to concentrate on anything else than Rodney. I had become more and more irritable until I finally snapped at Elizabeth for asking _"pointless questions"._ That had been the moment when we decided to postpone the briefing until the next day.

I'm still embarrassed about my little outburst but Elizabeth acts as if it never happened. She is far more understanding than one would think, and also far more observant than Rodney and myself ever thought possible...

She knows about Rodney and me.

I have absolutely no idea how she figured it out, though. A week after our first night together, Elizabeth had asked Rodney and me to stay behind after a debriefing.

She had mustered us for a few seconds before she'd lapsed into a long-winded speech. How she is _"okay with it"_ and how _"truly happy"_ she is for us, but that we also need to be careful and that we can't let our _"new and blossoming relationship"_ get in the way of our work.

Elizabeth had finished with a smile. I could just stare at her while Rodney had spluttered and looked like he was about to suffer a stroke.

We'd been really careful to act professional and as if nothing had changed between us. Well, outside of our quarters at least. But while the others didn't seem to suspect something, we apparently hadn't been able to fool our boss. Sometimes I think we never had a chance to begin with, considering that her speech that day begun with the words "Finally! You two had me worried for a while...".

Like I said: This woman can still surprise you...

Rodney suddenly heaves a sigh besides me. That actually worries me. He never makes any sounds when he's lying awake. Either he didn't notice what he just did or he's more upset about something than I thought. Either way, I think it's time to let Rodney know that I'm awake.

"Rodney? Is everything alright?"

He flinches a little bit as if I startled him, and turns his head to look at me. God, his eyes are so blue, it's almost ridiculous. Especially when the moon is the only source of light in the room. They are almost glowing...

"Yeah. Just can't sleep, that's all."

He sounds defeated and tired. I hate it to see him like this, but fortunately I just have to lift an arm to make it all better again. "C'mere."

A few seconds later and he is lying half on top of me with his head resting on my shoulder. I really like that position. His weight is just enough to make me aware of my own body under his and to make me feel... alive.

I rub his back like I have done many nights before and feel how he begins to relax against me. "Better?"

He hums in reply but I think it sounds more like he's purring and I have to resist the urge to snicker. He wouldn't appreciate that. Rodney can be quite insecure when he's not working on an ancient device or saving the city from certain doom. I realized long ago that Rodney is actually a walking bunch of contradictions and not nearly as arrogant as he appears to be. Especially when it comes to relationships.

"Good." I take his hand and kiss it softly before we intertwine our fingers. Before Rodney I had never been the guy to hold hands or to cuddle, but it feels right with him. Many things suddenly feel right with him.

We will stay like this for the rest of the night. It is odd but Rodney never squirms or shifts when he's lying in my arms. The only movement he makes is to tighten his grip on me or to scoot closer as if he's trying to savor my body heat. I want to believe that it's because he feels safe with me, even unconscious. That he doesn't need to consantly move anymore because he knows that I'm nearby and that it's okay to lie still.

The idea manages to send a pleasant jolt through my body. I can hear a quiet yawn before I feel how Rodney's breath becomes deep and steady.

And that's when I'm finally able to fall asleep.

END

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_A/N: Many of the topics that I approached in this two-shot will most certainly reappear in the sequel(btw, plot bunnys anyone?). I'm working on it guys but it's going slow since I'm still busy with my NCIS story. And I'm just assuming that they have something like a moon where they are right now, okay?_

_Hope you enjoyed this tag. Please review and tell me what you think!_

_InsaneMelon_


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